DATING AFTER DIVORCE WITH CHILDREN- AN EXPERIENCED PERSPECTIVE.
Divorce can be a very painful process and for some time after you may not feel emotionally equipped to get back into dating, especially if you have children. For both men and women, a major shift in attitude might be required after divorce but your emotional wellbeing should not be permanently sacrificed after a divorce and there are several ways you can begin dating again when you feel ready.
Don’t think of every guy or girl as your ex-partner
Trusting someone after you have been emotionally devastated can be extremely difficult. However, if you can’t separate your mistrustful feelings from your ex-partner and any prospective partners you will destroy any chance you have of finding love again. You should let go of your emotional baggage and try and look at any potential dates as a whole new individual with a whole new set of positives and flaws you can learn about.
Don’t forget to Have fun
You are never going to find another partner if you are a sombre, depressed wreck on dates. Reinvent yourself and enjoy the carefree fun of dating. Investigate some new hobbies and take your dates along for the ride. Getting back into dating might seem new and scary but it is a chance to rediscover what makes you happy and get a smile back on your face. Do your best to keep your perspective on dating, life is not a romance novel and you’ll have good dates and bad dates, it’s all part of the experience of putting yourself back out there.
Don’t just get back into dating for a rebound relationship
After a divorce you might feel lonely and if you have children then the burden of raising them yourself or dealing with the nightmare of custody can cause you to look for another relationship when you aren’t ready. For both men and women, it’s easy to get involved with someone new before you have moved on. When you start dating again, you have a second chance to be with people that share similar traits and interests, however, don’t be too quick to rush into anything after a divorce.
Keep your children in the loop
It’s important that you don’t lie or mislead your children when you think you are ready to begin dating again. If things do get serious with any new partners they will likely meet your children who will inevitably want to know when things started. There is no need to make excuses to your children about what you are doing, they will want you to be happy and in time will really understand your actions. However, keeping them out of the loop can create resentment and distrust between you and your children which is the last thing you want to deal with when you are beginning to date again after a divorce.
Dating after going through the pain of a divorce can be rife with difficulties and new experience, but there is also potential to find love and enjoyment. Be open to new possibilities. You will most likely have changed as a person from how you were in your marriage. Be open and willing to investigate new avenues. Remember to always consider the impact of your actions on your children and keep some distance so that you can check with yourself to make sure that you do not deviate too far from who you really are.
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