What Causes Jealousy In a Relationship And How To Overcome Them

What Causes Jealousy in a relationship

Jealousy is a natural response to the fear of losing someone very important to you or something you believe is already yours. Almost everyone in a relationship experiences jealousy at some point in time.

Generally, there are certain behaviors that trigger jealousy and this is quite different from actual causes of jealousy.

 

A woman flirting with your man is something that could trigger jealousy and make you react in a jealous manner. Hanging out, talking or flirting with members of the opposite sex are common triggers of jealousy

A little jealousy could be healthy in relationships sometimes, but persistent feelings of jealousy could ruin a relationship.

 

There are a couple of negative thought patterns that could cause jealousy at certain times.

 

  • Fear

What Causes JealousyLiving in fear will never allow you to set and achieve your goals in life. Whether in your career or your love life, living your life with intent and not fear is the way to go. You need to take responsibility and not play the victim.

Although, being aware of losing your partner can strengthen the bond in the relationship but being obsessive or irrational will weaken the bond.

The fear of losing your partner could make you possessive and too protective of them. Jealousy will arise in such situations and it is best to seek reassurance with your partner.

 

  • Low self esteem

When you believe you are not good enough or think someone is too good for you, you will not be able to accept yourself.

You cherish the person so much that you cringe at the slightest thoughts of losing them.

Jealousy naturally becomes a defensive reaction and this will put your relationship in jeopardy. Improve on your confidence in yourself and stop wallowing in self-pity.

 

 

  • Paranoia

Keeping your partner in the dark frequently will lead to negative feelings. If you are in a serious relationship, your partner should know almost everything about you.

Whether good or bad news, your partner should be the first to hear. Allowing your partner to find things out on their own or to keep worrying about your whereabouts will cause insecurity and lead to unnecessary jealousy.

Your partner can be jealous of your job if you seem to care about it more than you care for them. Be open and direct in order to keep your partner from second guessing and feeling paranoid about everything.

 

  • Over Protection

In a committed relationship, it is safe to assume that you belong to each other. It is only natural to feel responsible for your partner and a little protective so they know that you care.

This is not the case of jealousy. If you become too possessive and over protective of your partner, they begin to withdraw.

Why?  This is simply because they feel the need to have freedom from your tight grip. This withdrawal might cause more possessiveness and will definitely cause havoc in the relationship.

Going over the line can easily be misunderstood and jealousy will cause more trouble.

What Causes Jealousy

  • Insecurity

Insecurity is the biggest cause of jealousy in relationships. When either of you begins to question the feelings of the other, insecurity has set in.

This could be as a result of low self-esteem but mostly due to lack of attention from you or your partner. Harmless situations will easily trigger jealousy just because your partner feels insecure.

Try not to compare yourself, your partner or your relationship to others in order to avoid such emotions.

Jealousy can be overcome when insecurities are dealt with.

 

  • Mistrust

Trust is an essential ingredient for relationships. When there is no trust, suspicion will arise. Suspicion leads to insecurity which will bring about jealousy on the long run.

Trust is everything. No matter where the problem lies, you must be able to trust each other.

Allowing second guessing, accusations and arguments take over your relationship will do no good. Sit down with your partner and talk about your doubts and reservations.

 

  • Competition

Many people suffer from jealous feelings which are as a result of being too competitive. For example, trying to be better than your partner’s ex at everything.

You want to cook better, look better and so on. Or you keep competing for attention with your partner’s friends. Being too competitive will make you feel insecure and cause jealous emotions.

You need to be the best version of yourself and not try to compare yourself in any way to any other person.

Although, competition will sometimes allow you to be your best, but it can also result in over doing things and inviting jealousy into the relationship.

 

  • Keeping in touch with your ex

Your partner will feel uncomfortable and get jealous if you are in constant communication with your ex. It does not matter how cordial your relation with your ex is, hanging out and/or texting your ex will only make your partner feel bad.

Frequent communication with your ex will make your partner believe there is something you miss in your past relationship that the current relationship is lacking. It could even make your partner feel inferior to your ex.

It is really hard to be on the receiving end of such a situation because so many things will run through the mind.

What Causes Jealousy

  • Spending free time with friends

If you both work crazy hours during the week, it is only normal for your partner to expect some quiet time with you.

Choosing to spend your leisure time with your pals could make your partner feel neglected, leading to jealousy.

Your partner will become jealous of your friends, not because he/she doesn’t like them, but because they feel like you are choosing your friends over them.

 

  • Poor communication

There is no perfect relationship and it could be tough to avoid emotions like jealousy all the time.

The key is to be in consistent communication with your partner. Your partner is mostly prone to jealousy when he/she has no idea about what is going on your life.

Talk to each other about everything and this will help eliminate negative feelings even when your partner is in a bad mood.

 

If you Have Any Great Tips. Please Share in the comment section below with others 🙂 we’d love to know what has worked for you.

Monalisa Dario

Writer, Relationship Review Analyst. Couples Relationship Psychologist, Business person. Wife and a Mother of 3 lovely Children..

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